Narcissus

The first time I read father's autobiography, I was struck at how father was a complete and total narcissus!  The entire 1,100 pages completely revolved around him.  I scored about three lines, my sister - the golden girl - managed half a page, but one of his step sons about three pages, any of his eight wives - almost not even a mention.  The rest a highly fictional story.

Since my last post, I have now reread father's tome a second time and I have been struck, yet again, at what a complete narcissus father was!  Not like it should now be a surprise, only it is, due to the level of narcissism we are discussing here!  We are discussing mental illness levels. So, if father was a narcissus, then I thought I would read up on this subject on the internet.....

I did not know that narcissism is a variant of being a sociopath.  Sociopath I understand very well, I was diagnosed as such at 17 by the US military - whom then wanted me rather badly.  But, my father?  I also learned that psychopathy is a genetic disorder.  Great.

Now I am seeing his family in a new light.  Either of his parents passed this trait on to him.

Now I can understand the man whom could walk away from his family in Switzerland to support Hitler, the man whom could be married eight times thinking he was in love and often with more than one bride at a time.  Social convention meant nothing to him.  I could understand how he could have worked on atomic and hydrogen weapons with no flick of regret or doubt.  How his work on the V-3 (A-9) rocket and its purposed mass destruction was completely without understanding.  The Reich was his god, Hitler its prophet, my father its worshiper.

And yet this man had seen the slaughter of the tens of thousands at Dora, as the SS cleaned up all of the scientific workers - leaving very few for the Russians to capture.  It touched him enough that he converted to Judaism at the end of war.  It touched him enough that even to the end, he was seeking if there was a God or not - but he could never equate his life with the existence of the kind of god he sought.

I still have to wonder at some of what I know about my father.  Not the least of which is why did he write an autobiography that would be largely a work of fiction ..... ?

The War Years

Here father's life becomes rather murky.  I know my father's graduate studies in mathematics were through the University of Hamburg, as his doctorate before war's end was from there.  I know he worked on the theoretical mathematics for Heisenberg's atomic bomb project - as most of his post war life was based on this.  I know he also spent some amount of time on the V-3 (A-9) rocket program - as Werner Von Braun was a family friend and I knew him well.  Plus, three of father's team, from the war, were to be life-long friends of his.

Father was no longer associated with Heisenberg, by the time the German atomic stockpile had been captured - along with some staff.  In fact, father believed Heisenberg dead!  It was the greatest shock for him to learn that Heisenberg was indeed still alive and teaching in Munich many decades later!  And interestingly, father never contacted him that I am aware of, which you might think he would have done, being his old professor and all!

Father also managed to miss the capture of the V-2 rocket program by the American's, when an advance group of was rushed to Nordhausen to beat the Russians there (Operation Crossbow).  Also absent from Nordhausen, at the time, were the three others, whom with father, were to later be captured as a group.  But, I am getting ahead of myself.  So, although they had experience with the V-2, this group was more versed in the V-3 (A-9) program and I grew up with the tales of the ultimate rocket (the A-9) and their befuddlement as to what could have happened to it.

(Side Note:
The V-3 (A-9) had been mounted on a barge and was towed at night around Denmark, through the English Channel and was to be launched off the Irish coast - with the east coast of North America the target.  Think Washington DC or New York City the hoped for target.  The sub towing the barge, the barge and the rocket simply disappeared into history.  In the early 1990's I ran across a pilot's journal entry, whom was returning to England with a hung bomb.  They managed to "kick" it loose over what they calculated was the English Channel for safety reasons.  What followed was a massive explosion.  There was no reported loss of Allied shipping, in or around Le Havre.  So, could that bomb have hit the only V-3 (A-9) and been its demise?  Interesting thought.....)

Father, and his group, had been in Dresden at the time on leave - just in time to enjoy the American and British firebombing on day one and then strafing of civilians on day two.  No matter how you try to argue it, the Allies set out to annihilate one of Germany's oldest and largely unprotected cities.  (I will not get on my soapbox and spare you my Dresden rant.)  Net result was somewhere between 135,000 and 190,000 civilians dead according to the Red Cross, about 60,000 of them refuges, having fled from the advancing Soviet Army.  That burning pile in the background is one of the hundreds of piles of burning bodies.

Entrance to Mittlebau complex.

The Russians, by this time, had advanced to within a dozen miles of the east bank of the Elbe River and would be in Dresden within the week.  Their forward observers reported back on what the British and Americans were doing.  Stalin immediately filed a complaint with the League of Nations concerning the wonton destruction of a target his army had fought so hard to attain. Father, like so many of the residences, fled on foot north, his hope was to reach Peenemünde or at least Mittlebau, the underground assembly plant for the V-1 and V-2 rockets.

Mittlebau-Dora

Dodging the fighting, Soviet patrols, etc  - they did eventually reach Mittlebau and the horror of the Reich was to be firmly etched into each of their conscience.  The SS had been very effective in executing the entire workforce.  Tens of thousands of fresh bodies lay where they had been shot, hung, etc. But, at the time he and his team thought this the revenge tactics of the Americans!

And, at some point father was to travel past a burning barn.  I can still remember verbatim his description of it and his horror at what was later described as 1,016 Jews whom had been packed in there and burned alive.  The SS final solution for the Jews whom had aided the SS in the final solution in the Mittelbau tunnels!

Nordhausen

At Nordhausen they found the camp deserted, save for the prison labor, many dead and starving.  In Peenemünde they learned of the capture of the scientists by the Americans - remember, their last encounter with American's did not go so well in Dresden.  American execution was their only belief at this point.

Faced with the Soviet Army to the East and South, the Americans also South and West, father made a command decision - seek the British or Canadians and surrender.  They eventually did surrender to the British, finding a patrol on the Elbe River near Hamburg after nine months of walking and hiding from the Russians.

Father exited the war with the rank of a Naval Captain.  I have such a hard time understanding this, as you will understand later.  Here also is the intriguing question of where did his Naval experience come in?  Why was he flown to Spitsbergen at one point?  And, what on earth were the German's doing up there?  Father had nothing to do with submarines and Spitsbergen was a U-Boat base.  Could something to do with the V-3 (A-9) rocket have been executed in Spitsbergen?  Could the rocket have barged not from Nordhausen but Spitsbergen?  There is absolutely no data to show why he would have been there save for the atomic program or the V-3 (A-9).  Another of father's mysteries I must wonder at .....